Cleaning with children

Cleaning. I have never really enjoyed cleaning, but now the thought of a nice Saturday morning spent deep cleaning my house all ALONE sounds pretty nice. You know that popular meme about cleaning your house with kids???

So so true. I'm living with two toddlers and a newborn, so I'm looking around my house wondering if it will ever be clean again. I've cleaned the house as a Mom of babies, and I've cleaned the house as the Mom of toddlers- each of those are sort of challenging, but cleaning as the Mom of a baby AND toddlers is pretty much impossible. My only cleaning goals in the last few weeks have been doing dishes, vacuuming, and wiping down the bathrooms. That's it. Last week I spent 2 days trying to vacuum and mop the teeny tiny main floor of our house. My first attempt was never finished, and my second attempt took most of the day. Here's what my morning looked like:

9:00am- The toddlers have just finished breakfast and the house is already a mess, so I begin telling them to put away all of their toys so that we can vacuum while the baby is awake.

9:30am- remind them to stop playing with the toys and actually put them away while I nurse the baby

10:00am- "pleeeeeeaaaaase stop dancing and put those blankets back in your room while I burp the baby."

10:20am- I hurry and get the vacuum out while the floor is clear for the next 45 seconds

10:30am- the kitchen is vacuumed, but the baby needs her poopy diaper changed IMMEDIATELY

10:40am- resume vacuuming

11:00am- dining room is vacuumed, but now the toddlers want to do a craft since I'm forbidding them from taking out a single toy until I finish vacuuming. "No, you may not use playdoh because I just vacuumed there! Yes, I will get the crayons out for you."

11:10am- resume vacuuming

11:20am- stop vacuuming to help the recently potty-trained 2-year-old use the bathroom. AT LEAST she didn't pee on the floor- that really would have slowed down my vacuuming. 

11:30am- resume vacuuming

11:35am- stop vacuuming to pick up the crap... I mean toys... I found under the couch 

11:40- resume vacuuming. so close to being done.

11:50- stop vacuuming to make lunch for the toddlers.

12:00- use the hose to vacuum along the floor boards, under cabinets, in the corners.... it needs to be done, because I skipped it last time.

12:10- give crying baby a pacifier and beg her to just wait 2 more minutes and then I will feed her.

12:15- done with vacuuming! just in time to nurse the baby while the girls eat pb&j

12:45- Baby is fed, burped, and content, but now the toddlers are done eating lunch and I need to vacuum under the table again (and wipe jelly off of everything that was within reach of the 2-year-old)

1:00- downstairs is vacuumed, and I guess I will spend their naptime mopping (or I'll probably collapse on the couch and mop another day when my kids are adults). Nobody will eat food or wear shoes ever again in this house! 

Just in case this post was making anyone think they didn't want (more) children.  They are definitely worth a messy house.

It only took me 4 hours to vacuum three tiny rooms.... good thing I have a small house. At what age can my children start vacuuming??